Mum

I love my mum. I don't know what I will be without her.

It's like, whenever she's at home, I will just do my own things in my room without talking much to her. But I feel really lonely when she's not around even though I don't talk to her when she's at home. Sigh.

She went to Genting this morning and my morning was so disastrous. No la, it was actually okay but the fact that she wasn't around made me feel so pathetic. She left my sausage bun on top of the oven where ants usually couldn't reach so I ate it without thinking much. Then I saw two random ants on my table and after a long while, I realised they were flicked out from my bread's plastic bag. There were a few ants struggling to move within the rolled down layers of the plastic bag lor wth, so disgusting. And then I realised the other bread on the oven had plenty of ants on it too. So I threw both bread away but ants started crawling out of the dustbin so I sprayed pesticide into the bin. Then I ate Tom Yum cup noodles which was meant for Shiyi (cos my mum gave her my spicy seafood one) and I had such a hard time trying to open the satchel of tom yum thingy. It was so spicy that I choked on my own mucus. So I drank iced apple tea cos I couldn't take it but I knew it will make it worse but I just didn't care. And it was really very spicy after I continued eating and it tasted like vomit. So I threw it away too. I didn't feel anything but I think I felt empty and sad cos I couldn't share these stuff with my mum. Just being around me will definitely make me feel so much better.

This reminds me of that moment when I felt that I have grown up. When I was in secondary 2 I think, I had to go home slightly later after school cos I wanted to hang out with my friends. I called my mum and surprisingly, she was like, okay sure just go! I was really very very sad at that moment I still can't forget that feeling. It's like she's letting me go. I don't want her to let go of me forever.

I hope my mum will be healthy and happy and live forever. I cannot live without her.